Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Family



I had tears in my eyes as I said good-bye to Zach and Mia (oh, and Andres, too) at the airport. I have never been away from the kids for more than a day!! And, other than being in the hospital when I had Mia, I have never spent a night away from the kids. But, I remind myself, they are with their loving, capable father and having a blast without me. They have plans for a busy weekend going to the zoo, parks, riding the train, library and much more.

I arrived in Atlanta late last night and was happy to be back home with Pops, Nano and Richard. I walked in the door to find Pops getting up to greet me, which lately has been difficult but he is so determined he managed to walk a few steps toward the door before Richard practically caught him as he stumbled. It was a wonderful reception.


After Pops sat down and caught his breath we sat on the couch together and held hands for a while. That was really special. His hands were warm and soft. He knew who I was and had moments where we carried on a conversation. I asked him how he was doing and if he was in pain. He said he was not in pain, which was a relief. Although, due to his breathing issues, he has to sit up straight with his head bobbed down which makes his neck hurt when he is resting. He looks very uncomfortable most of the time. He is not wearing his glasses anymore.

He seems to have settled a lot after being so restless earlier in the week, thank God. He is sleeping more now. His whole chest cavity moves up and down when he breathes and his exhale seems longer than his inhale. He is taking his medicine without a fight now and appears peaceful when he is resting (despite his neck falling forward). I am going out today and looking for a neck pillow and a little fan to see if that helps.

Mom and Richard have developed a good shift system to stay with Pops during the night. They take turns sleeping which allows them both to get some sleep. I think Pops' situation is just so unique in that he is NOT stationary in his hospital bed. It's funny, when anyone from hospice comes, he will go over to the hospital bed and sit down, and when they leave he gets right up and goes back to his chair or the couch. He is much more comfortable sitting up in his chair, the only problem is when he decides to get up and wander around or when he thinks we are going somewhere he tends to bump into things or possibly fall down and it's just not safe.

So funny enough, one of the first questions Pops asked me when I got here was the name of the new baby girl. If you know Andres and I, we never tell the name before that baby arrives. So, I asked mom to leave the room and Richard to close his ears and I told Pops the middle we had chosen for our baby girl (we haven't fully committed on a first name). He squeezed my hand which to me meant he approved.

I was able to talk to Pops about dying a little bit too. I asked him if he knew when he thought he was going to go. He replied, "not long now." I told him that we would be fine if he wanted to go anytime and that we would take care of mom so he wouldn't have to worry about anything.

As far as visitors go, Pops was very happy to spend a couple hours yesterday with Joe Rowe who came by to see him. Pops wanted to take him to Huddle House for breakfast :). They spent some good time together and talked about Carol, Joe's wife who died of breast cancer about a year and a half ago. And, today, Joe Rowe, Jr (yes, the rock star) is coming by for a visit as well. We look forward to seeing him and talking to him about his experiences of being with his mom during her time in hospice before she passed. And, tomorrow, my mom's twin sister's adult children, spouses and kids are going to be here. They are doing a marathon drive to get down here late tonight from Minnesota and so will be here to spend some special time together. It will be the first time in almost 15 years the four cousins will be together.

More updates and photos to follow. I am so blessed to have a husband who has taken on the challenge of being solo with the kids for the weekend so I can be here with Pops. And, so very blessed that I have this special time with Pops. He is more than a hero to me.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update, Tina! We are so happy that you are able to be with your Pops and Mom and Rich this weekend! It will also be very special for all 4 cousins to be together for some time on Sunday and Monday! I know my kids can't wait to see all of you and help out in any helpful way possible. Of course, they adore your parents and they have always considered them to be their second parents even though we all live such a long distance apart! We think you will enjoy our grandkids, as well.
We just heard from the kids on their marathon drive from MN. They had bad weather during the middle of the night driving through Iowa. Today has been good and they had just crossed into GA. They will swim and sleep tonight and then visit tomorrow after breakfast. Your pictures are beautiful, Tina! We hope that your visit continues to be rewarding for all of you! Your journal is priceless, so very well written from the bottom of your heart! Give everyone a hug from us! Love and prayers! Jerry and Kathryn

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your journal during this sentimental time. Having been through this cancer/hospice thing with my mom, I know how precious this family time is. Glad y'all are taking lots of pictures. Glad y'all have plenty of family & friends to see about y'all. If there is anything I can do, please let me know, I will be glad to. If you haven't already found the pillow you were looking for, try Moye's pharmacy, they specialize in home healthcare needs. Keeping y'all in my prayers.
Christy Rivers