Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Long Days... Longer Nights

Things with Pops just keep getting worse. I guess that is what happens when people are in the process of dying of cancer. I have been doing a lot of reading about the final stages before people die of cancer and it is really difficult to see my dad go through this. Right now, Pops has been not eating, refusing to take his medication, taking off his oxygen tube, getting up wondering around all night, bumping into things, having delusions and hallucinations, and generally struggling with getting rest for more than a few hours at a time throughout the day. I know this restlessness is part of the process, but it hard to see happening... and even harder for mom to handle and still try and get up and go to work. I think mom took the day off today and when I spoke to she and Rich a couple hours ago the hospice nurse and aide were both there trying to get Pops to get in his hospital bed and take his medicine. I guess now he is not able to walk on his own and has to have help or use a walker.

Things are deteriorating really fast now so please say some prayers for Pops and our family. I think the hardest part is that Pops is no longer the man he once was. To see him having delusions and hallucinations due to the lack of oxygen in his blood is heartbreaking. It is just so hard for Nano. Thank God Richard is there to help out. And, I will be there in a couple days. In the meantime, please pray for a peaceful passing for Pops when it is his time to go.

6 comments:

Roger Grafenstein said...

Gene/Margaret/Rich/Tina/Andres

Sharon and I are so sorry to hear about Gene's swift decline. I am glad that Rich is able to be there now.

I think of you often and pray for you often. We are with you in spirit, and appreciate beyond words your hospitality when the brothers and I were down in January.

God's blessings and our love,

Craig Haberman

kristi said...

I am so heartbroken and am praying so hard for you and your family, Tina. Thank you for your words and your information, this is a challenge that no one should have to go through and I feel for you and your mom and all of your dear friends and family members. Many prayers..........Kristi

Unknown said...

Dear Gene's Family,
You are doing many caring tasks you've never had a chance to practice. Everything is new and it takes energy to figure out what to respond to. You've figured out by now that safety is basic and only worry about the now problem. Take your lead from the hospice nurses. Stay calm because you wish a calm process of dying for you dad. Sleep because there will be a time when you won't. The nurses will call you and they know the signs. Only 10% of patients have a sudden unexpected death. Trust Gene's choices..of no food, fluids as that can possible interfere with the dying process. He may have a burst of energy (or perhaps he had one) so your hope increased..temporarily.
I'm sure you've told him how much you love him and stories of how he was important to you. You might choose to tell him that you'll miss him and you know he will miss you, but don't stay in pain or try and stay with decreased oxygen which is probably causing the unusual behavior. He's being robbed of oxygen and near the end, the oxygen doesn't work because it can't transfer into the blood vessels.
This is a hard part of being human...we are impermanent...
You have my empathy...
Give my love to Gene...
As ever, Susan Benson

Anonymous said...

Dear Pargie, Tina, & Rich, and our BEST FRIEND, GENE: You are all constantly in our thoughts and prayers! Gene, your rapid decline even since I left you last Sat. is truly unbelievable! Margaret is a hero in terms of her positive spirit and strength ~ she loves all of you so very much! Tina, you need to be commended for your Blog & Caring Bridge updates! And Rich, we know how important your presence has been for your parents this last week and next week! Jer and I will be back next week to help in any way we can assist you! You are never alone!! Love,
Jerry and Kathy

Anonymous said...

Dear Family,
As I was writing my comments to you, so was Susan Benson. She has been a dear friend since our high school days, as has her husband, Paul. Paul played all kinds of ball with Gene and sang on a quartet together with Gene & Jerry & others who earned star performances! Susan is a Nurse Practioner who has worked many experiences similar to those which you are going through. I so much trust her wise advice to you! She should know that lack of sleep is already a big problem for Margaret and Richard! How very kind of Susan to share her thoughts! Love, Kath

Anonymous said...

Dear Family,
As I was writing my comments to you, so was Susan Benson. She has been a dear friend since our high school days, as has her husband, Paul. Paul played all kinds of ball with Gene and sang on a quartet together with Gene & Jerry & others who earned star performances! Susan is a Nurse Practioner who has worked many experiences similar to those which you are going through. I so much trust her wise advice to you! She should know that lack of sleep is already a big problem for Margaret and Richard! How very kind of Susan to share her thoughts! Love, Kath