Sunday, February 28, 2010

Gene Lynn Thompson April 21, 1946 - February 28, 2010


It is with deep sadness that I write that today, February 28, 2010 at 4pm we lost Gene aka Pops after his battle with cancer.

He was surrounded by his family who all gathered to be with him today. Nano, Richard, Aunt Barbara (Pops' sister), Frank & Linda Blews, Andres and I spent time the final quiet moments with him as he quietly passed. We lost our father, husband, brother and best friend today. He will be missed more than I can put into words, but never ever forgotten. We know he is looking down on us from Heaven and finally out of pain.

Thank you for your prayers, love and support. We are finalizing plans for his Memorial Service and will post details soon.

Now we are getting through the day telling stories and remembering my father, the man who was larger than life! If you have any stories you want to share, please post them. I know Nano and our entire family would love to hear them... and help keep Pops' spirit alive.

Pops....


Pops as a kid...

Pops in the Air Force



Pops golfing at St. Andrews

Running around outside with Nano




Today we arrived in Atlanta to spend time with Pops and Nano (not knowing it would be his last day). The grandkids spent some fun time outside with Nano.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Update 2/26/10

The last few days have continued to be very difficult for Pops. His breathing is inconsistent. He is no longer eating or drinking. He can no longer take his medication in pill form, so it is all in liquid form now. He is still unable to lay down so he continues to sit in the chair with his head drooped down. He has been sleeping much more and is not communicating much at all anymore. However, yesterday when Nano was out running a quick errand, he was able to communicate to my brother, Richard, that he wanted her to come home and be with him. She sits by his side and she holds him. Their love is so tangible and everlasting.

It was nice to have my Aunt Kathryn & Uncle Jerry come down and spend some time with Pops and Nano. Pops and Uncle Jerry grew up together as best friends and remain very close today as brothers, both married to the McCollor twins! Uncle Jerry's brother, Gene Stigman and his wife Maxine also came by the house for a special visit.

Nano and Richard continue to get very little sleep due to staying up all night with Pops in shifts since Pops still gets restless and sometimes pulls his oxygen off and needs medication for his pain. I am reminded of having a newborn and how most nights you get very little sleep... well, the bright side is that Nano will be prepared for her new grand daughter who is due to arrive in less than 2 months now. We continue to try and find the light and hope in this period of darkness for our family.

No one should have to suffer in pain and die like this. Pops is a strong, dignified man and he will always be remembered by those who love him that way.

Thank you for your prayers, comments and messages. It makes these long days much more tolerable knowing that Pops touched so many people's lives and that he will never be forgotten.


Thursday, February 25, 2010

Stigman's


Aunt Kathryn and Uncle Jerry came down to spend special time with Pops and Nano. Here is a photo of Pops with his best friend, Uncle Jerry.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Reflections


My short trip up to Atlanta to spend time with Pops and Nano has come to an end and I am back to my own reality now. In reflecting on my 3 short days with Pops I am left with some mixed emotions. I have so much gratitude and love. I also have a lot of anger and sadness.

I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with Pops over the last few days. I am my dad's only little girl, therefore, we have always had a close and special relationship. We also have very similar personalities which has sealed our bond since we mostly agree with each other. We have the same little personality quirks, too. For example, we "think" we are funny, organized, always right, and have the best methods of doing something, so other people should do things that way too. We also like a lot of the same things in life like traveling, food and any physical/athletic challenge. Even sitting with Pops this weekend when he could barely speak or hold his head up I was reminded of how similar we still are. He is still very strong minded about what he wants and how he wants things. And, he still had his sense of humor. I was telling him how good he looked and he said something and we couldn't understand him... then finally we figured out he was telling me that I was a "fibber" for telling him he looked good. It was nice to see glimpses of my daddy through all of the cancer and medication. I will never forget our times together this weekend just sitting holding hands or when his eyes would open and light up when he recognized me. This will be added to the heaps of memories that make him my dad. And, I know his will remain alive as long as I keep being myself... and just look at my brother, who looks just like him!! My kids also remind me of him too, which is really special to see.

With all of that, I am also struggling with a lot of anger and hurt about my dad's cancer and what it is doing to him and our family. Seeing my larger than life dad fading away physically and mentally has been so hard to deal with. The man who ran 13 half marathons, 10k's, walked 60 miles in 3 days for breast cancer and walked 200 miles across Northern England in the last 3 years is now confined to a chair with oxygen tubes and unable to speak well enough to be understood. It is heartbreaking. And, what's worse is that my mom and brother are there having to take care of him. And, it's not easy to do this while still preserving his dignity. He still has the same determination, so while that has always been a real asset for him, now it just makes it more difficult to care for him. Anyone who has had to witness or caretake someone dying of cancer understands what I mean. Even with Hospice services, things day to day, hour to hour are so difficult. It makes me so angry and sad, and I am not even the one on the front lines.

Nano and I went to the funeral home yesterday and planned Pops' Memorial Service. Actually, we spoke with Pops about what he wanted about a month ago and so combined that with what Nano wanted we were able to plan a beautiful service. My mom is such an amazing woman. Her strength in the face of loosing her husband of nearly 42 years and her best friend is astounding. She has faith and that along with her supportive family and friends will help her through this. She just needs to let others help! She is such a wonderful caretaker, but she is going to need a lot of support.

Please keep your prayers coming. And, your messages/comments too. Your friendship, love and support means so much to our family. Thank you.



Sunday, February 21, 2010

Pops, Nano, Richard & Tina

Pops & Nano

Nano & Tina

Pops & Tina

Pops telling Tina a secret

Richard, Pops & Tina

Pops' Nephew, Niece and Fam

Cousins & Pops

Cousins

Happy Birthday Meghan

Erik & Meghan

Daren & Jeanie

Pops & Daren

Jimmy

Aidan

Nano, Pops & Meghan



Pops & Friends 2/20/10

Pops and Linda

Susan, Pops and Tina

Pops, Nano & Susan

Pops & Joe Jr.

We were blessed today when wonderful friends came by to visit.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Family



I had tears in my eyes as I said good-bye to Zach and Mia (oh, and Andres, too) at the airport. I have never been away from the kids for more than a day!! And, other than being in the hospital when I had Mia, I have never spent a night away from the kids. But, I remind myself, they are with their loving, capable father and having a blast without me. They have plans for a busy weekend going to the zoo, parks, riding the train, library and much more.

I arrived in Atlanta late last night and was happy to be back home with Pops, Nano and Richard. I walked in the door to find Pops getting up to greet me, which lately has been difficult but he is so determined he managed to walk a few steps toward the door before Richard practically caught him as he stumbled. It was a wonderful reception.


After Pops sat down and caught his breath we sat on the couch together and held hands for a while. That was really special. His hands were warm and soft. He knew who I was and had moments where we carried on a conversation. I asked him how he was doing and if he was in pain. He said he was not in pain, which was a relief. Although, due to his breathing issues, he has to sit up straight with his head bobbed down which makes his neck hurt when he is resting. He looks very uncomfortable most of the time. He is not wearing his glasses anymore.

He seems to have settled a lot after being so restless earlier in the week, thank God. He is sleeping more now. His whole chest cavity moves up and down when he breathes and his exhale seems longer than his inhale. He is taking his medicine without a fight now and appears peaceful when he is resting (despite his neck falling forward). I am going out today and looking for a neck pillow and a little fan to see if that helps.

Mom and Richard have developed a good shift system to stay with Pops during the night. They take turns sleeping which allows them both to get some sleep. I think Pops' situation is just so unique in that he is NOT stationary in his hospital bed. It's funny, when anyone from hospice comes, he will go over to the hospital bed and sit down, and when they leave he gets right up and goes back to his chair or the couch. He is much more comfortable sitting up in his chair, the only problem is when he decides to get up and wander around or when he thinks we are going somewhere he tends to bump into things or possibly fall down and it's just not safe.

So funny enough, one of the first questions Pops asked me when I got here was the name of the new baby girl. If you know Andres and I, we never tell the name before that baby arrives. So, I asked mom to leave the room and Richard to close his ears and I told Pops the middle we had chosen for our baby girl (we haven't fully committed on a first name). He squeezed my hand which to me meant he approved.

I was able to talk to Pops about dying a little bit too. I asked him if he knew when he thought he was going to go. He replied, "not long now." I told him that we would be fine if he wanted to go anytime and that we would take care of mom so he wouldn't have to worry about anything.

As far as visitors go, Pops was very happy to spend a couple hours yesterday with Joe Rowe who came by to see him. Pops wanted to take him to Huddle House for breakfast :). They spent some good time together and talked about Carol, Joe's wife who died of breast cancer about a year and a half ago. And, today, Joe Rowe, Jr (yes, the rock star) is coming by for a visit as well. We look forward to seeing him and talking to him about his experiences of being with his mom during her time in hospice before she passed. And, tomorrow, my mom's twin sister's adult children, spouses and kids are going to be here. They are doing a marathon drive to get down here late tonight from Minnesota and so will be here to spend some special time together. It will be the first time in almost 15 years the four cousins will be together.

More updates and photos to follow. I am so blessed to have a husband who has taken on the challenge of being solo with the kids for the weekend so I can be here with Pops. And, so very blessed that I have this special time with Pops. He is more than a hero to me.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Long Days... Longer Nights

Things with Pops just keep getting worse. I guess that is what happens when people are in the process of dying of cancer. I have been doing a lot of reading about the final stages before people die of cancer and it is really difficult to see my dad go through this. Right now, Pops has been not eating, refusing to take his medication, taking off his oxygen tube, getting up wondering around all night, bumping into things, having delusions and hallucinations, and generally struggling with getting rest for more than a few hours at a time throughout the day. I know this restlessness is part of the process, but it hard to see happening... and even harder for mom to handle and still try and get up and go to work. I think mom took the day off today and when I spoke to she and Rich a couple hours ago the hospice nurse and aide were both there trying to get Pops to get in his hospital bed and take his medicine. I guess now he is not able to walk on his own and has to have help or use a walker.

Things are deteriorating really fast now so please say some prayers for Pops and our family. I think the hardest part is that Pops is no longer the man he once was. To see him having delusions and hallucinations due to the lack of oxygen in his blood is heartbreaking. It is just so hard for Nano. Thank God Richard is there to help out. And, I will be there in a couple days. In the meantime, please pray for a peaceful passing for Pops when it is his time to go.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Richard and Pops



Richard (i.e. Uncle Ichie) is spending a few weeks up in Atlanta working and hanging out with Pops and Nano. Here are a couple pics from today... I made Nano take pics of them together and they were both having fun joking around in the pics!! Typical! Here are a couple of the good ones!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Pops, The Twins & Tina






Margaret

The "McCollor" Twins

Kathryn & Margaret

Tina & Aunt Kathryn



Here are some pics from a beautiful winter day in Atlanta with Pops, the Twins and Tina. Pops even took his oxygen off for a minute to come outside and enjoy the sunshine. After that, he was worn out and it was time for a nap!

Interviewing the Legend!






I flew up to Atlanta yesterday for a very special day for Pops... He was interviewed by Edward O'Connor President of TMG International who is honoring Pops by publishing an article about the story of his life with highlights of his lifelong contributions to the Tobacco industry. This is such an honor for Pops and our family. I will follow up when this article comes out! Very exciting!



Haircut






Before Pops' interview I was honored to give him a long overdue haircut!